Michele du Plessis
- “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin
- “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln
- “The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.” – Abraham Lincoln
- “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
- “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” – Alan Dundes
- “Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.” – Albert Camus
- “All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.” – Alexander Woollcott
- “It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.” – Andy Borowitz
- “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” – Andy Rooney
- “My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
- “To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
- “Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.” – Benjamin Franklin
- “Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
- “If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.” – Bill Vaughan
- “Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.” – Bill Vaughan
- “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” – Bill Watterson
- “Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!” – Billy Connolly
- “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.” – Billy Sunday
- “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.” – Billy Wilder
- “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
- “Inside me, a thin person is struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.” – Bob Thaves
- “As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett
- “My favourite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” – Caroline Rhea
- “All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.” – Casey Stengel
- “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.” – Charles de Gaulle
- “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
- “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles M. Schulz
- “By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” – Charles Wadsworth
